I Think, I feel, I am

I think, therefore I feel, therefore I am.

Factual-thinking does not mean to live life like a robot. Factual-thinking allows us to resolve and eliminate cluttering and nonfactual-thoughts so that our remaining factual-thoughts will lead to generating our emotions. When our emotions are generated as a result of factual-thoughts the feelings that we feel become pure and genuine because they are based on how we should feel rather than based on how we want to feel. This is why factual-thinking and objectivity not only unclutter our mind but it also regulates our emotions because it eliminates cluttering emotions that we feel which are based on cluttering nonfactual-thoughts.

Although René Descartes has stated of the relationship between thinking and existing as “I think, therefore I am”; his philosophy is based on the thinking process creating doubt which is a form of cognitive analysis. Just because we can create doubt by thinking does not make us into the complex individuals that we are. Descartes states “I think I am, because I doubt, therefore I exist”, which is a philosophy that is relevant to existentialism. Our existence is not in question; the issue-at-hand is the understanding of our existence relative to our own Self, relative to reality and relative to everything else. Thinking is made up of multiple thoughts and each thought generates a feeling that we feel; therefore, Theory of Self-Relativity defines the relationship between our thinking and our existence as:

I think…therefore I feel…therefore I am...

Despite the necessity for facts to be evaluated objectively; it must be noted that the subjective-experience of facts and evidence is real and personal.  Facts and evidence should be applied to thinking objectively however facts and evidence are often experienced subjectively by different people. 

Facts are objective; feelings are subjective.

This subjective experiencing of facts and evidence is what distinguishes people’s personal-feelings, relationships and their existence.  While facts are facts and they apply the same way to each and every person; it is the subjectivity of experience and interactions alongside individual-perspective of reality which makes each person relativistically different from another.  Subjective-experience of facts and evidence is acceptable and personal; however, for a person to be able to properly experience facts subjectively, they must ensure that they are objectively creating and processing their thoughts based on facts and not based on feelings.

Although facts are experienced subjectively, facts must be evaluated and applied objectively.

This is why Theory of Self-Relativity states:

You are what you think.

Since our mind and our thinking is responsible for our self-identity and how we interact and deal with everyone and everything else; therefore, our mind is also responsible for generating our emotions as to how we feel. As discussed throughout Theory of Self-Relativity, our emotions don’t just exist on their own; our mind generates our feelings as needed so that we can become aware of, understand and respond to triggers. Since our emotions are generated by our mind on an as needed basis; therefore, by thinking properly we can regulate our emotions.

Theory of Self-Relativity defines “emotional-regulation” as “our ability to manage, regulate and control our emotions.”

Humans are constantly exposed to events and situations that trigger emotional states and emotional responses within them. Lack of emotional-regulation or better known as emotional-dysregulation could cause disruptions and even chaos in everyday life and with our intrapersonal as well as our interpersonal interactions. Emotional-dysregulation is more pronounced when dealing with negative-feelings rather than positive ones. Negative-emotions without proper emotional-regulation lead to impulsivity and hasty actions therefore impulse-control is an important attribute of achieving emotional-regulation. Emotional-intelligence and emotional-regulation are part of our self-regulation capabilities. As discussed, self-regulation means to have the ability to have awareness and understanding of our thoughts so that we can better manage our emotions.

Theory of Self-Relativity defines “self-regulation” as “our ability to manage, regulate and control our thoughts in order to experience better emotions and better outcomes.”

Although we all experience emotional-dysregulation from time to time and especially in situations where we do not have control over the situation or the outcome; emotional-dysregulation is a more prevalent and a more consistent occurrence with high-conflict personality types. Emotional-dysregulation in such individuals who present signs of personality-disorders can sometimes be so extreme that when they are happy, they are ecstatically-happy and when they are sad, they are depressively-sad. Individuals with emotional-dysregulation tendencies also tend to be quite dramatic and chaotic and they act quickly and impulsively to negative-stimuli. Emotional-dysregulation generally presents a lack of cognitive-development due to childhood issues; therefore, emotional-dysregulation is often associated with inability to have critical-thinking skills. Critical-thinking is commonly described as the objective analysis of facts to form a judgment. Critical-thinking is disciplined thinking that is clear, rational, open-minded, objective and informed by evidence. In critical-thinking the thinker improves the quality of his or her thinking by skillfully analyzing, assessing, and reconstructing it; therefore, critical-thinking is self-directed.

Theory of Self-Relativity defines “critical-thinking” as “the ability to objectively, unbiasedly and open-mindedly analyze and evaluate thoughts based on facts and not based on feelings.”

Thought-awareness and critical-thinking are key to developing and maintaining emotional-regulation and those who do not properly develop their critical-thinking skills in childhood often have difficulty with emotional-regulation and with impulse-control in their adult years. Therefore cognitive-development and proper thinking methods can minimize one’s emotional-dysregulation. In order to minimize and control emotional-dysregulation and impulsivity we must learn to have the ability to cognitively and analytically evaluate the causal-thoughts of our feelings. Awareness of feelings and understanding of their underlying thoughts could assist us in increasing our critical-thinking abilities hence increasing our emotional-regulation. By being in touch with our feelings and by realizing that our feelings are caused by our thoughts, we can learn to recognize and analyze each thought behind a feeling. By taking the time to always look for and analyze the thought behind our feeling, thus we will begin to create impulse-control which will lead to emotional-regulation.

This increased emotional-regulation that is cultivated through the Cognitive-Cognition-Technique not only unclutters our mind and slows down our emotional-reactivity but it quickens our thinking and problem-solving abilities. As discussed, one of the most common forms of behavior that we undertake is communication and one of the fastest forms that we communicate is in the form of speaking. By slowing down our impulsivities and emotional-reactivities and by increasing our ability to become aware of and to recognize factual-thoughts quicker; the Cognitive-Cognition-Technique enables us in expressing our thoughts in a much more concise and persuasive format. As communication formats have become faster in the modern-times, we also need to increase our communication speeds accordingly. This skill of communicating quickly and efficiently could only arise from thinking quickly and cleverly.

This is why factual-thinking is important in dealing with all aspects of our life and especially in our interactions with others. The way to minimize personal-conflicts and to increase the effectiveness of our position in an interpersonal-relationship is to use facts and evidence as the basis for our thinking and behavior. We must become aware of our thoughts, validate them with supportive facts and keep our emotions out so that our interactions are not based on emotions but they are based on facts. When we use facts and evidence to base our life on, we will not only then be able to generate feelings that are based on rationality but will have less interest in being right and more interest in living in the truth.

It is better to stand corrected than to try to be right at any cost.

The Cognitive-Cognition-Technique is a critical-thinking system that uses our feelings-awareness to identify and analytically evaluate our thoughts that are creating our feelings. By using our feelings to get in touch with our thoughts and to factually evaluate them, we can then accept our factual-thoughts and dismiss our nonfactual-thoughts hence adjust or eliminate our feelings accordingly. The Cognitive-Cognition-Technique significantly improves our emotional-regulation capabilities by improving our factual-thinking abilities; therefore, the best way to control our emotions and our impulsivities is through controlling our thoughts via factual-thinking. The Cognitive-Cognition-Technique not only helps us to think rationally but it puts rationality in our feelings. When our feelings are supported by rational and factual-thoughts that are in sync with reality, our feelings become purer, better-defined and more genuine as they become harmonious with factual-reality.

To feel good, we must think well