Love Hurts

“True love shouldn’t hurt. If love hurts that is not love, it’s dependency and neediness.”

Love hurts because our understanding of love has been incorrect. Love cannot be “found” nor could it be as a result of an “event” because loving and being-loved just like success and happiness and other continuity aspects of human life are not events but they are processes. True love does not happen in an instant; it happens over time therefore,

True love doesn’t happen; it grows.

Hence there is no such a thing as “love at first sight.” If we fall in love with someone quickly and if we don’t take the time to get to know the person, that is not love at first sight; that is love based on our neediness. We can certainly feel attracted to someone and even get sexually aroused; however, in order for true love to exist we have to know and understand the cognitive-processes of the other person in order to develop our deeper feelings of love for them.

Therefore, in order for love to not hurt and in order for us to experience true-love; we must first learn to have “Self-Love.”